It’s almost here. That back-to-high-school feeling. You stand in a crowded Hilton ballroom, awkwardly pulling on your name badge, wishing you could gin up your courage and go chat up that broadcaster/show creator/media mogul/transmedia maven you’ve been dreaming about. But how do you tell them how you really feel?

No Crusts is here to help, with 16 handy-dandy icebreakers you can put in your conference tote bag. We’ve scoured the interwebs for the best pickup lines and modified them for the particular ins and outs of iKids and Kidscreen.

Warning — use your own judgement on whether you can actually pull these off without looking like a schlub!

“Do you know karate? ‘Cause my pilot is really kickin’.”

“What’s French, has two thumbs, one eye and a great interactive kids property?” [Winking and pointing thumbs at self] “MOI!”

“Was your mother an astronaut? Because your shows are out of this world!”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, please let me pitch my idea to you!”

“I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.”

[After a demo] “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to pitch you again?”

“If talent could kill, I’d be a weapon of mass destruction.”

“Which one of the Fresh Beat Band are you?”

“Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.”

“See my friend over there? He wants to know what you think of my pilot.”

“Are you Little Airplane? Because have I got a pilot for you!”

“What did you think of the changes to COPPA?” [Note: Make sure you read up on children and data privacy with our handy primer.]

“I may not be a genie but I can make your ratings dreams come true.”

“You’re so transmedia RuPaul may call you for the next edition of Drag Race.”

“Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the international distributor of my dreams!”

“Excuse me, are you my next meeting? Would you like to be?”

Use these with care, remember to smile, and good luck in all of your iKids/Kidscreen encounters. We’ll be there with our ears open to check if any of you try these out. Anne will be at the iKids Networking breakfast, “How Do I Get an App for That?,” Carla will be giving a talk at iKids, “Game’s Anatomy — Deconstructing Success in Children’s Mobile Games,”and we’ll be doing the Mentor Meeting: Interactive at Kidscreen on Wednesday. As always, you can reach us at kidsGotGame@noCrusts.com or follow us on Twitter at @noCrusts.